Weary Bones

This week has been a daily struggle.

Against depression

Against anger

Against weariness

My heart is on the verge of death in the morning

And as each hour passes coldness freezes my core

God must reawaken my soul by the minute

He is faithful to encourage me, to turn my face to hope—to Himself

 

The room is filled with worship and songs

Praise comes in the in the evening sky

But it is only momentarily. The joy is fleeting.

The love dies as my body revives hatred in the dark—through my sleep.

Praise comes in the night, but sorrow rises with the morning sun.

A fountain of confusion, chaos of mind stirs within me

Walking to what? To where am I going?

 

Running. Running away from the commotion.

Running to The Light, but never reaching it.

 

My fingertips taste the edge of this Sun with each holy conversation, with every prayer, and with every song—but it is quick to forsake me.

Before I can breathe in the freshness of this Air, smoke and debris saturate my lungs.

Revive my Soul Oh Lord.

Bring life to these weary bones.

 

 

Then the Lord Said to Me:

 

Psalm 77

 

"I cry aloud to God,

Aloud to God and he will hear me

In the day of my trouble I seek the Lord;

In the night my hand is stretched out with wearying;

My soul refuses to be comforted.

When I remember God, I moan;

When I meditate, my spirit faints.

 

You hold my eyelids open;

I am so troubled that I cannot speak.

I consider the days of old, the years long ago.

I said, “let me remember my song in the night;

Let me meditate in my heart.”

Then my spirit made a diligent search:

'Will the Lord spurn forever, and never again be favorable?

Has his steadfast love forever ceased?

Are his promises at an end for all time?

Has God forgotten to be gracious?

Has he in anger shut up his compassion?'

 

Then I said, “I will appeal to this,

To the years of the right hand of the Most High.”

I will remember the deeds of The Lord ;

Yes, I will remember the wonders of old.

I will ponder all your work,

And meditate on your mighty deeds.

Your way, O God, is holy.

What god is great like our God?

You are the God who works wonders;

You have made known your might among the peoples.

You with Your arm redeemed your people,

The children of Jacob and Joseph.

 

When the waters saw you, Oh God,

When the waters saw you, they were afraid;

Indeed the deep trembled.

the clouds poured out water;

the skies gave forth thunder,

your arrows flashed on every side.

the crash of your thunder was in the whirlwind;

your lightnings lighted up the world;

the earth trembled and shook.

Your way was through the sea,

Your path through the great waters;

Yet your footprints were unseen.

You led your people like a flock by the hand of Moses and Aaron."

 

It is through a whisper that God spoke to me. He did not dramatically cause my heart to feel joy today, but he slowly lifted the weight of my heart and made my spirit lighter—breathing in deeply, the peace of God.