As I mentioned in my last blog, I would like to expand on my relationship with Runenge, a woman in Xakao, physically chained to her house and spiritually chained to demonic oppression. I grew to love this woman, and as we visited her each day, my hope and perseverance for her freedom grew. We saw her during the day when she was usually tired from a night of no sleep or lucid from the medication she is given each morning. While we sat and talked to her, sang for her, and prayed over her, she sat quietly or slept, only sometimes engaging us with an answer to our questions (usually "no") or speaks to the voices she hears on her property and in her house. My passion for her heart grew. I desired so bad for her to know the love and peace of Jesus. For a while, she seemed to improve, to interact, smile and even laugh with us, but soon after she received her routine injection, the oppression around her seemed to escalate. But then, so did my love and drive to fight against it.
We will not hold back, we will not let down, we will win this battle for her soul.
So the next night, 4 of us girls marched to the front line of the war with our tent and sleeping bags in hand.
I had no idea what this night would look like other than prayer on Runenge's behalf. And about thirty minutes into the night I realized that this time wasn't about us or about what we were doing for her, and it wasn't even about Runenge. This night was for The Lord. To worship him through trial and tribulation, to lift him up in praise in all circumstances, and to say that he is good ad faithful in every way and he is enough.
Tonight Runenge is angry. She does not want to come out of her hut and she is showing violent tendencies. I move closer to her and ask if we can be friends tonight. She says no. I ask if we can stay with her through the night. She says no.
We continue to sit outside of her hut, singing over her and praying for her. She has been talking to herself/demonic spirits since we arrived. She eventually approaches us at the doorway, but not for welcoming's sake. She wants us to leave. She spits at us, she curses us, and she speaks to the voices about us. But I will not leave her, I will stay by her side, I will fight for her. We continue to pray on her behalf, to speak truth over her life, and to stay near her side.
Then The Lord spoke. And as always, through the weak and the broken. In the stillness of the night, a soft whisper.
I am Runenge.
How many times has The Lord approached me, and asked to stay with me, "Madeline, can we be friends tonight? Will you let me love you today?"
No.
But he stays near. He sits close and prays over me. He sings to me. He fights for me.
How many times have I stepped near him only to spit on him or curse his name?
But he stays near. He pitches his tent beside me. He will not leave. He will stay through the night. When I cannot fight for myself, he will fight for me.
And how many times have I turned to other voices, other idols to fill my needs and desires?
But without wrath or judgement, he continues to speak to me, to focus my attention on him, and to whisper his love over me, and declare my identity in him. With love and power he casts the darkness out and provides an oasis of refuge for me.
I observe the night and I observe myself. How have I come to love this woman so deeply? She fills me with joy and my hope for her overflows.
The only answer, the only way I have come to know this love and the only way I have bee able to give it, is because Jesus first loved me. In this exact same way, he was faithful to me, despite me.
I think somehow I had come to believe that love was a kind of cycle. We are filled up by God with his love and then we can overflow that same love to others. But I think when we truly love the way that Christ loved us, sacrificially and unselfishly, we will be filled up by The Lord. You cannot separate these two things, they are a marriage that operates together. When we truly love and serve out of love, we will be draw closer to Christ, we will be nearer to him and come to know him more intimately.
I can only love Runenge because Jesus loved me. I can only see her as beautiful and pure because that is how Jesus sees me. And I can only fight for her soul with strength and endurance because in the same way, Jesus has fought for me.
It was hard to say goodbye, especially when I felt like there was still so much to be done in Runenge's life. But I hope in the fact that before we were there, Jesus was with her, and after we leave, still he will stay. When he starts a good work, he is faithful to finish it. I am confident that I will see Runenge in heaven, and I look forward to that day when I see her free from her chains, dancing before The Lord in the light of his love.
